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thank you

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[Music]

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foreign

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welcome to the show it's been a while I

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want to thank you all for joining me and

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I want to remind you to like share and

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subscribe and tonight we have Hadley

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Polaris returning and on June 13th her

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new book or her book will be out so we

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wanted to have her back so I'm just

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going to bring her in now

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okay Hadley Hi how are you good

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good so I'm so happy you could come back

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because I was so excited for your book

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and I've had so many people asking about

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you like I was even stepped in the store

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after we had our first show and somebody

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who I didn't even know worked in hospice

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was like that little girl was telling

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the truth like I have seen it I'm just

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like staring at her thinking I never

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thought you would watch my show or or

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even believe in any of that and she's

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like no it's all true and then she's

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like we'll talk about it later and some

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of the stories she told me was just like

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oh my gosh but yeah I had to have this

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incredible everyone has their own

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stories like if you can talk to a

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hospice nurse and you're alive you

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should we all have them oh my gosh yeah

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I and I was like I was gonna have you

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back and she was very excited because

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like I said she had worked in hospice so

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she was excited to have you back all

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right so let's get into it your book

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will be out soon are you excited I'm so

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excited I really am I feel like we've

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been talking about it forever but it's

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finally here and you've been like

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teasing and giving excerpts on your Tick

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Tock as well yeah do you want to like

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give us some teasers or some excerpts or

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whatever you want to do this was

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basically your show go ahead yeah

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absolutely said my book I brought it

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with me I was like in case I need to

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show the cover so it is 12 patients 12

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chapters 12 patients that basically made

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me believe in an afterlife and I went in

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extremely extremely skeptic of it

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because I had worked in the ER and I saw

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what I call like the dark underbelly of

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the world and all the ER nurses I work

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around were like you know what I don't

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want to spend eternity with anyone who

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allows this like it's horrible and I had

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gotten that mindset too so I went into

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hospice and these patients they changed

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my life and they definitely made me

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believe in an afterlife from what they

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saw and and you know there's so many of

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them but just my very first chapter

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patient one is my very first patient

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death in hospice where she was seeing

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her deceased sister and talking to her

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and it's just it's crazy

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and what did you think when that was

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your first patient and she's like seeing

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this person who's not there did you kind

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of just humor her and think okay she's

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she's you know having a hallucination

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maybe it's some of the medication yeah

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that's exactly what I thought it was and

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you know I'm not I was not a stranger to

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hallucination so I was like okay this is

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a hallucination so I went to my manager

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and was like what do we do to treat this

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and she was like we don't she's she just

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needs to catch up with her sister and I

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was like okay you know they're all crazy

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yeah exactly like what are you on as

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well yeah so then I went to another

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co-worker who was like yeah this happens

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in hospice and like we did not learn

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this in nursing school

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like this is just something that's like

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very normal that happens with all of

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these people and so I was like okay this

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is super cool and I had seen it and then

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when I got on Tick Tock there's other

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hospice nurses too that talk about it

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I'm like this is the craziest thing yeah

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and is that do you think that something

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is like very hush-hashed in nursing

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school like any experiences that happen

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in hospitals or hospice or whatever

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field and there's decides to go into

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you know I think we don't learn enough

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about Hospice in nursing school we only

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had one day and it was either home

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health or hospice and we like don't even

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really like Lauren like we spent so much

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time on labor and delivery like the

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beginning of life but there's just not

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that much time spent on hospice in the

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end of life and I don't think my

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instructors honestly even knew that it's

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like really this whole new world but I

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am really pushing that we really need to

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teach people more about it so that

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people are more prepared

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right no I agree I've taken a death and

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dying course and it was just basic

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textbook and anything outside the

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textbook the instructor didn't want to

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hear really it's kind of like yeah it

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was just kind of like okay anything I

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would bring up they were really just

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like no you stick to the textbook and

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even if it's in your assignment it's out

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of the textbook range you fail it and

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it's just like really okay so I don't

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ask any questions I just copy from the

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textbook yeah it was it was a few years

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ago it was very I failed the class

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because I I wanted so many questions and

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the teacher was just like no and I'm

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just like I I guess I fail I'm just you

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know yeah yeah exactly exactly that's I

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I agree yeah that's something that we

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need to learn more about and Marla Marla

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to do what you do

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thank you and yeah I hear that all the

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time I don't really consider it that way

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but I I really appreciate you when

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people say that but I really do enjoy my

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job

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I you know I get I love going to

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people's homes and like getting to know

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them on like a very different level and

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you know so many people say it's like

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sad or depressing but I think that you

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really can't avoid death in health care

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I mean maybe Specialties but most you

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cannot and on a patient's own terms and

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I actually think there's something very

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beautiful about that yeah I don't think

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in any specialty in nursing you can

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avoid death I mean you you have to

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encounter it somewhere along the lines

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so but you encounter it more than the

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average

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say nurse you know

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so what patient has changed your life

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oh so many of them have and so really so

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many of them have

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um you have to pick one if I had to pick

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yeah one

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um it's actually a very roundabout way

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is how they changed my life so they are

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in my book but basically this patient

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was an atheist and he was dying of liver

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cancer from drinking and he did see his

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deceased grandmother but his wife also

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an atheist did not believe in any of

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that and

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um they had been together since they

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were 18 and she had a really really

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really difficult time when he died and

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when he was dying and

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um after he died she actually committed

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suicide and I was the last person to see

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her and I had such an extreme amount of

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guilt about that and our chaplain that

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worked for said Hadley you you need to

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go to therapy like you you're you're

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gonna burn out you can't you know you

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can't blame yourself for this kind of

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stuff you need to go to therapy and I

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really thought I was going to go to

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therapy and she was gonna be like okay

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let's deal with this issue and you're

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gone but she helped me solve so many

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things that I just didn't even know were

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even issues in my life

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and you know of course I wish it didn't

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take that to get into therapy but it has

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changed my life

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no and and that for therapy wise like

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I'm a big component of that like it's

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it's the little things that will get you

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in the therapy that you don't even think

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about so yeah yeah so I totally agree

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but and and what is the one that's

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really touched you as well like you know

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not this something like this what's

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really stuck out to you besides this one

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the so the one I just did my most recent

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tick tock on and he is also in my book

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but

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um basically I had found a small way to

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connect with him through Sports and just

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having him teach me about sports and I

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saw that one my husband now has an

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a-time boyfriend loves sports so tell me

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about it and you know you're always

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looking for little ways to connect with

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people especially when they're very

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hesitant to you being there and so he

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was teaching me and I was very receptive

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to it he started teaching me all the

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things that he could and he would have

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these little notes for me when I showed

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up and we got very very very close and I

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didn't even honestly realize what I was

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doing I just knew that we were talking

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yeah and before he died he said you know

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thank you for giving me something to

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look forward to instead of death

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and that moment for me was like first of

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all I'm doing what I'm supposed to be

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doing where I'm supposed to be but also

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it really inspired me to not just do the

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bare minimum and every single morning

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before I go to work I think of him and

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I'm like I need to show up it's that

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young eager nurse so ready to make

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connections with my patients in any way

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I can

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no and that's that's wonderful that

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really is and do if I'm wrong because I

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I've seen most of your tick tocks and

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everything weren't you kind of set up

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with your husband by a hospice patient

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yeah they were nursing homepages they

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have that now they weren't on hospice at

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the time okay

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um yes they're super weird so anyone who

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has not heard the weird story

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um said I vaguely remember because I

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caught it yeah yeah

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is the weirdest story so I started

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working at a nursing home that he was a

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physical therapist staff for many years

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and the way the nursing home was set up

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it's like the nursing home side and the

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therapist's therapy side and then

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there's a cafeteria in the middle but

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they're like not really connected other

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than by that cafeteria so he would

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occasionally like come over the nursing

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home side get a patient go back to his

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side so I'd see him and I thought he was

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cute but like I didn't have a reason to

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really talk to him so one of the nursing

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home patients was like you should talk

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to Chris it's my husband and I was like

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I like him but I don't how am I supposed

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to get over there you know I don't have

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a reason to be over there and she would

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literally pretend to fall so that I

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would have to and then she'd come to me

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and be like you need to take me to get

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checked out by the physical therapist

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and then her friends would start doing

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it too like they'd all sit at lunch and

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like Giggle and look at us yes

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I mean we're married we have two kids

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they knew what they were doing

271
00:11:59,269 --> 00:11:56,519
apparently and I know that that was just

272
00:12:00,949 --> 00:11:59,279
that was so entertaining for them and

273
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:00,959
that's sweet that really is but they've

274
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:02,399
probably knew something you two didn't

275
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:04,560
and that's wonderful that you know they

276
00:12:10,069 --> 00:12:07,040
probably did yeah

277
00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:10,079
so and then writing this book we have a

278
00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:12,300
question from Marla let me put that up

279
00:12:19,069 --> 00:12:17,509
let's see there you go uh was it

280
00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:19,079
difficult to recall your experiences

281
00:12:25,069 --> 00:12:21,420
while writing your book

282
00:12:27,170 --> 00:12:25,079
it was very difficult emotionally I I

283
00:12:29,710 --> 00:12:27,180
grieved these patients again I would

284
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:29,720
have to really take hours of

285
00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:32,940
uninterrupted time and put myself back

286
00:12:37,069 --> 00:12:35,100
in those homes and back in those moments

287
00:12:39,710 --> 00:12:37,079
so that I could really write down like

288
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:39,720
every single emotion and thought and

289
00:12:44,090 --> 00:12:41,940
feeling I had and my husband will come

290
00:12:45,829 --> 00:12:44,100
up and I would just be like a mess it

291
00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:45,839
was like it happened for the first time

292
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:47,519
again

293
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:49,320
mm-hmm

294
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:51,180
and that's that's always hard because

295
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:53,040
when you get attached to a patient they

296
00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:54,600
always tell you you're not supposed to I

297
00:12:58,190 --> 00:12:56,760
remember because my mom was a nurse she

298
00:13:00,050 --> 00:12:58,200
would she would say that she was like

299
00:13:02,269 --> 00:13:00,060
that was the first thing they told us

300
00:13:04,009 --> 00:13:02,279
not to get attached to a patient and

301
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:04,019
then she'd like launch into her stories

302
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:06,720
where she would obviously tell like be

303
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:08,700
saying I got attached to my patient and

304
00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:10,800
then she'd start crying and this was

305
00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:13,980
like 30 40 some years later I mean just

306
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:16,320
like the person that died yesterday I

307
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:19,560
mean it's hard it really is it really is

308
00:13:24,410 --> 00:13:22,079
and you know people they do teach us at

309
00:13:26,629 --> 00:13:24,420
nursing school and it's hard I think

310
00:13:29,449 --> 00:13:26,639
that it you know we really need to learn

311
00:13:32,509 --> 00:13:29,459
like empathy versus sympathy and

312
00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:32,519
definitely been working at that over the

313
00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:35,100
years but I mean there's always going to

314
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:37,200
be those people that you just get so

315
00:13:42,769 --> 00:13:39,480
close to you can't help it right yeah

316
00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:42,779
exactly no I agree so and then you had

317
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:44,940
you did the audiobook for this as well

318
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:47,820
yes it's that hard to do

319
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:51,720
yes the poor producers so my publisher

320
00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:54,720
had a producer and she would you know

321
00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:56,399
especially when I like said words wrong

322
00:14:00,050 --> 00:13:58,079
she would like do it but she's like

323
00:14:02,449 --> 00:14:00,060
listening to me and like basically

324
00:14:03,949 --> 00:14:02,459
coaching me like Slow Down Speed Up you

325
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:03,959
sound disconnected you know things like

326
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:06,899
that and I would have to stop so many

327
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:09,240
times because I'd just be crying but she

328
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:11,160
was so wonderful she would cry with me

329
00:14:15,590 --> 00:14:13,920
she's like it's okay like but I it was

330
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:15,600
it was like I was doing again I would

331
00:14:18,889 --> 00:14:17,220
tell her I was like I did not think I

332
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:18,899
was gonna cry I mean I've done this

333
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:20,940
already I wrote this book I've edited it

334
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:24,120
like but still it's the emotion

335
00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:26,160
no and we haven't gotten this question

336
00:14:31,129 --> 00:14:27,959
yet but we're probably going to get it

337
00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:31,139
has anyone ever followed you home after

338
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:33,120
they have passed or have you had any

339
00:14:38,269 --> 00:14:34,920
paranormal experiences

340
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:38,279
yeah so actually another one in my book

341
00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:40,019
but this will be my only one that I'll

342
00:14:45,889 --> 00:14:42,300
give a spoiler for because it is you

343
00:14:48,650 --> 00:14:45,899
know about following home so he was a

344
00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:48,660
patient that I grew very close to I went

345
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:52,139
to his home well um he was homeless

346
00:14:56,689 --> 00:14:54,779
um his place uh in the middle of the

347
00:14:59,269 --> 00:14:56,699
night because he was seeing his deceased

348
00:15:00,590 --> 00:14:59,279
mother and

349
00:15:02,329 --> 00:15:00,600
um you know I told him I think you

350
00:15:06,350 --> 00:15:02,339
really are a senior mom and it's okay

351
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:06,360
got him comfortable and as I was leaving

352
00:15:09,769 --> 00:15:08,459
felt like someone was walking with me if

353
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:09,779
you can like imagine that feeling like

354
00:15:12,769 --> 00:15:10,980
whenever you feel like someone's walking

355
00:15:14,569 --> 00:15:12,779
with you but you're not and I was like

356
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:14,579
that is so strange like I feel like

357
00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:17,360
someone's next to me and but I was alone

358
00:15:22,569 --> 00:15:20,820
went home went back to sleep still felt

359
00:15:25,430 --> 00:15:22,579
like someone was with me the entire time

360
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:25,440
got back up the next morning

361
00:15:29,269 --> 00:15:28,320
and um I'm getting ready and I don't

362
00:15:30,769 --> 00:15:29,279
know have you ever had that feeling

363
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:30,779
where you feel like someone's

364
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:33,300
with you yeah but you're alone and

365
00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:35,579
you're like and it's only happened to me

366
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:37,199
a couple times but this one was very

367
00:15:41,329 --> 00:15:39,240
profound and it was comfortable one too

368
00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:41,339
many times so I know have you okay so

369
00:15:44,930 --> 00:15:43,380
you know what I'm talking about yeah and

370
00:15:47,569 --> 00:15:44,940
I'm getting ready I'm like this is so

371
00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:47,579
strange but I'm just keep going and then

372
00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:50,820
I am getting ready to put on my scrubs

373
00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:52,440
and I realized my name tag from the

374
00:15:56,629 --> 00:15:54,240
night before was in the laundry basket

375
00:15:59,629 --> 00:15:56,639
on the scrubs so I go to get it off it

376
00:16:02,389 --> 00:15:59,639
and I feel this huge gush of wind behind

377
00:16:05,389 --> 00:16:02,399
me and I was like oh my gosh like stop

378
00:16:07,069 --> 00:16:05,399
so I go out to my husband I'm like hey I

379
00:16:08,930 --> 00:16:07,079
just felt discussion when he was like

380
00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:08,940
that happens whenever the AC kicks on I

381
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:11,519
was like oh I'm being silly you know

382
00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:13,860
yeah I'm thinking of my patient just

383
00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:15,240
seeing his deceased loved one like I'm

384
00:16:19,790 --> 00:16:18,240
just you know being weird right so I go

385
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:19,800
back get ready

386
00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:22,740
take my son to school and I'm driving to

387
00:16:27,889 --> 00:16:25,380
work and I'm like I never put my name

388
00:16:29,629 --> 00:16:27,899
tag on my scrubs because of that wind

389
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:29,639
and I'm like oh my gosh I'm gonna be

390
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:31,260
late but my manager's gonna make me turn

391
00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:33,060
around anyway so turn around really

392
00:16:37,189 --> 00:16:34,800
quickly and I'm like I'm not running

393
00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:37,199
that late I'm keep going and we come to

394
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:40,860
a stop and I realize that like half a

395
00:16:44,509 --> 00:16:42,720
mile mile ahead of me there was a car

396
00:16:46,430 --> 00:16:44,519
accident and everyone was okay

397
00:16:48,410 --> 00:16:46,440
thankfully

398
00:16:49,730 --> 00:16:48,420
um but it was because it was two trucks

399
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:49,740
in my opinion that they were like okay

400
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:52,500
so I was like oh wow that's crazy you

401
00:16:56,629 --> 00:16:53,940
know could have been me and how we all

402
00:16:57,710 --> 00:16:56,639
always do when we go past car accidents

403
00:16:59,329 --> 00:16:57,720
right

404
00:17:01,189 --> 00:16:59,339
um trying to look and trying to knows

405
00:17:04,429 --> 00:17:01,199
yeah yeah I've done that a lot so it's

406
00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:04,439
okay to say it yeah and so I was like oh

407
00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:06,000
gosh I'm kind of glad that I was a

408
00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:08,040
little bit behind you know I'm glad it

409
00:17:13,669 --> 00:17:11,160
wasn't me go to morning meeting at work

410
00:17:18,049 --> 00:17:13,679
and get a call that that patient has

411
00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:18,059
died so I go to take care of him and as

412
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:22,380
I'm leaving his caregiver says oh please

413
00:17:26,689 --> 00:17:25,260
be careful the patient was saying the

414
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:26,699
other day that he had a bad feeling that

415
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:27,780
you were going to get into a car

416
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:29,100
accident

417
00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:32,580
and I was like oh my gosh that is crazy

418
00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:34,260
yeah

419
00:17:40,789 --> 00:17:38,780
wow so he basically saved you

420
00:17:41,870 --> 00:17:40,799
yeah you know I've always said I don't

421
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:41,880
know if it was because he was still

422
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:43,740
alive when I left so I don't really know

423
00:17:52,370 --> 00:17:47,160
if it was him or someone around him kind

424
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:55,010
hang on oops

425
00:17:58,130 --> 00:17:57,120
let me just get this question up from

426
00:17:59,930 --> 00:17:58,140
Thomas

427
00:18:02,630 --> 00:17:59,940
do you do anything to protect yourself

428
00:18:04,070 --> 00:18:02,640
from the entities or attachments or

429
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:04,080
spirits

430
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:06,240
you know I don't

431
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:08,400
um my friend Lexi is like very into that

432
00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:10,860
and she's like I'm concerned you need to

433
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:12,740
do stuff like that

434
00:18:19,549 --> 00:18:15,380
but you know I've never felt like

435
00:18:21,710 --> 00:18:19,559
anybody is not good that's with me and

436
00:18:25,549 --> 00:18:21,720
you know all of my patients are so

437
00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:25,559
incredibly nice and caring so I've

438
00:18:31,789 --> 00:18:28,440
always felt like I'm okay but you know

439
00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:31,799
there's there's that concern yeah no I I

440
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:33,960
think with anyone or anything like that

441
00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:36,299
you deal with in this field that there's

442
00:18:40,730 --> 00:18:38,340
always that little bit of concern

443
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:40,740
you've also from what I've seen on your

444
00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:41,880
tick tocks

445
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:43,740
um which I suggest everyone go and

446
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:45,240
subscribe to your tick tocks and watch

447
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:46,380
them

448
00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:49,080
um you had an encounter where I believe

449
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:51,120
when your patients had followed you but

450
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:54,200
it had to do with an oven yeah

451
00:18:59,029 --> 00:18:57,240
yeah that one was more recent and I

452
00:19:02,810 --> 00:18:59,039
never really put together the pieces

453
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:02,820
into like way later you know when I was

454
00:19:08,049 --> 00:19:04,260
thinking back and I was like wait that

455
00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:08,059
was weird so we had gone out of town for

456
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:11,220
the weekend come back home on a Sunday

457
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:13,140
night and the house smells absolutely

458
00:19:16,909 --> 00:19:14,760
terrible we're like oh my gosh we forgot

459
00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:16,919
to take out the trash took it out went

460
00:19:20,990 --> 00:19:18,360
and ran to the grocery store for like

461
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:21,000
the essentials and I am going past the

462
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:23,940
frozen section and this pizza catches my

463
00:19:27,590 --> 00:19:26,100
eye that my patient used to always eat

464
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:27,600
and I knew it well because I used to

465
00:19:32,990 --> 00:19:29,700
always have to make it for her she'd

466
00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:33,000
always make me make it for her and so I

467
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:35,400
was like oh like remembered her and kept

468
00:19:41,090 --> 00:19:39,480
going and I'm shopping and I cannot get

469
00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:41,100
this pizza out of my head I feel like

470
00:19:45,710 --> 00:19:42,600
someone is screaming at me in my head to

471
00:19:48,110 --> 00:19:45,720
go get this pizza and I'm like okay so I

472
00:19:49,430 --> 00:19:48,120
go get the pizza and you know I think

473
00:19:51,409 --> 00:19:49,440
some people would be like oh well you

474
00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:51,419
just had a frozen pizza we don't buy

475
00:19:55,130 --> 00:19:53,520
frozen pizza like ever but I was just

476
00:19:57,110 --> 00:19:55,140
like for some reason I need to get this

477
00:19:58,669 --> 00:19:57,120
pizza and the reason we don't is because

478
00:20:00,890 --> 00:19:58,679
we have a local place down the road

479
00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:00,900
that's so cheap and it's better than

480
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:02,220
frozen pizza it's like the same price

481
00:20:07,669 --> 00:20:04,140
but I'm like okay I'll buy the frozen

482
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:07,679
pizza whatever yeah

483
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:10,740
exactly so I get the frozen pizza I'm

484
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:11,820
like I don't even know what I'm gonna do

485
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:14,640
with this but whatever so I get it and

486
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:17,400
we go home and we try to call the local

487
00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:19,140
pizza place that we always order from

488
00:20:23,029 --> 00:20:21,120
and they won't answer the phone it's

489
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:23,039
like not even that late I tried to call

490
00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:24,480
my husband tried to call they just will

491
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:26,760
not answer the phone so I was like oh

492
00:20:33,169 --> 00:20:28,820
you know I hit I got a frozen pizza

493
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:33,179
that's why he's like okay go for it so I

494
00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:36,360
go to preheat the oven and it beeps to

495
00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:37,679
say that it's preheated go back in the

496
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:40,140
kitchen and the entire oven is on fire

497
00:20:44,029 --> 00:20:42,360
like the entire oven is on fire and I

498
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:44,039
was like oh my gosh of course my husband

499
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:46,260
is puts it out I get the kids out of the

500
00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:48,840
house all of that and it ruined like

501
00:20:53,330 --> 00:20:50,580
half of our kitchen so there was a fire

502
00:20:55,909 --> 00:20:53,340
investigation that was done for

503
00:20:59,270 --> 00:20:55,919
insurance and they determined that we

504
00:21:01,070 --> 00:20:59,280
had a gas leak which is what we thought

505
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:01,080
was the trash smelling bad was actually

506
00:21:08,270 --> 00:21:05,360
the gas and the fire investigator said

507
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:08,280
uh if you would not have turned on that

508
00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:11,280
oven which caused the fire and gone to

509
00:21:14,870 --> 00:21:13,260
sleep that night none of y'all would

510
00:21:18,230 --> 00:21:14,880
have woken up alive

511
00:21:20,870 --> 00:21:18,240
wow and I was like oh my goodness yeah

512
00:21:22,909 --> 00:21:20,880
so again you were basically saved which

513
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:22,919
is that that was an incredible story I

514
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:25,080
thought yeah yeah and then it wasn't

515
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:28,380
until months later that I was like wait

516
00:21:32,930 --> 00:21:30,600
I forgot why I even turned on that oven

517
00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:32,940
like I was not supposed to turn on that

518
00:21:38,149 --> 00:21:36,240
oven yeah and it's weird how things like

519
00:21:39,470 --> 00:21:38,159
that happen and you don't like you said

520
00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:39,480
you didn't think about it until months

521
00:21:42,590 --> 00:21:41,280
later and it's just something that

522
00:21:43,909 --> 00:21:42,600
you're watching even walking through

523
00:21:46,909 --> 00:21:43,919
your house and you just stop and you're

524
00:21:49,310 --> 00:21:46,919
like oh crap that's why or that's why I

525
00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:49,320
picked this up because you know it's

526
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:50,340
kind of yeah

527
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:52,320
in the way predestined or someone's

528
00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:55,260
watching over you yeah absolutely

529
00:22:01,549 --> 00:21:57,960
I totally agree so what would you say

530
00:22:04,010 --> 00:22:01,559
would have been the the hardest person

531
00:22:07,070 --> 00:22:04,020
that you've come in contact with

532
00:22:09,289 --> 00:22:07,080
like and we'll deal with yeah to deal

533
00:22:11,149 --> 00:22:09,299
with or to watch pass away

534
00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:11,159
hmm

535
00:22:16,149 --> 00:22:12,840
you know I've had quite a few patients

536
00:22:20,270 --> 00:22:16,159
that are very resistant to hospice care

537
00:22:23,930 --> 00:22:20,280
and that can be very you know difficult

538
00:22:28,669 --> 00:22:23,940
whenever you're trying to convince them

539
00:22:31,909 --> 00:22:28,679
to to come onto hospice but the hardest

540
00:22:34,070 --> 00:22:31,919
death for me was the one that said that

541
00:22:36,710 --> 00:22:34,080
he was going to miss me and all the

542
00:22:41,149 --> 00:22:36,720
notes and he really became like a

543
00:22:45,610 --> 00:22:41,159
grandfather to me and I still think

544
00:22:49,789 --> 00:22:48,409
and and do you want to tell everyone a

545
00:22:52,190 --> 00:22:49,799
little bit about what got you into

546
00:22:54,169 --> 00:22:52,200
hospice like you said that you chose

547
00:22:56,570 --> 00:22:54,179
that from being an ER you don't want to

548
00:22:58,190 --> 00:22:56,580
be stuck in the ER but that's what do

549
00:23:01,310 --> 00:22:58,200
you think maybe there was something else

550
00:23:04,130 --> 00:23:01,320
like have you looked at before you know

551
00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:04,140
is like nursing what you always want to

552
00:23:07,909 --> 00:23:06,360
do because I know in your book you give

553
00:23:09,289 --> 00:23:07,919
a little bit of a background about

554
00:23:11,630 --> 00:23:09,299
yourself so do you want to give everyone

555
00:23:13,789 --> 00:23:11,640
a little bit of that here yeah

556
00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:13,799
absolutely so I went off to College

557
00:23:21,169 --> 00:23:17,039
University After High School to become a

558
00:23:25,010 --> 00:23:21,179
writer that was my dream and I ended up

559
00:23:27,770 --> 00:23:25,020
pregnant at 19 with my son and I said

560
00:23:29,750 --> 00:23:27,780
you know I the writing's not going to

561
00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:29,760
cut it I need to figure out a career

562
00:23:34,430 --> 00:23:32,340
that is going to be a financially

563
00:23:36,470 --> 00:23:34,440
sustainable and you know nursing just

564
00:23:38,230 --> 00:23:36,480
practically in a couple years you can

565
00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:38,240
make about fifty thousand dollars a year

566
00:23:43,370 --> 00:23:40,980
and so that's how I ended up in nursing

567
00:23:45,649 --> 00:23:43,380
and from there of course I did the

568
00:23:47,690 --> 00:23:45,659
hospital and then the nursing home and

569
00:23:50,210 --> 00:23:47,700
then when I was in the nursing home is

570
00:23:53,149 --> 00:23:50,220
when I saw hospice patients and I was

571
00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:53,159
like wow like they're one-on-one with

572
00:23:57,049 --> 00:23:55,260
patients and they're making sure that

573
00:23:59,630 --> 00:23:57,059
the patient what they want is really at

574
00:24:02,510 --> 00:23:59,640
the Forefront which is very different

575
00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:02,520
and I was like that is that's what I

576
00:24:07,909 --> 00:24:05,700
want to be doing and I firmly believe

577
00:24:10,370 --> 00:24:07,919
now that what I thought was just like

578
00:24:12,110 --> 00:24:10,380
convenience or practicality is like

579
00:24:14,149 --> 00:24:12,120
really really

580
00:24:16,730 --> 00:24:14,159
you know putting me where I was supposed

581
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:16,740
to be like I really feel like everything

582
00:24:24,169 --> 00:24:20,220
aligned how it was supposed to

583
00:24:26,870 --> 00:24:24,179
I agree with you so Marla has a question

584
00:24:29,210 --> 00:24:26,880
uh are you able to see auras around your

585
00:24:30,590 --> 00:24:29,220
patients if so do they change when they

586
00:24:33,169 --> 00:24:30,600
cross over

587
00:24:36,770 --> 00:24:33,179
so I am not able to but we have a

588
00:24:39,230 --> 00:24:36,780
volunteer that is able to and she will

589
00:24:43,789 --> 00:24:39,240
sometimes say that she can

590
00:24:45,529 --> 00:24:43,799
um see or as far as yeah around patients

591
00:24:53,570 --> 00:24:45,539
and

592
00:24:55,430 --> 00:24:53,580
she said that was super crazy unique

593
00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:55,440
um I know she says I'm blue and green

594
00:24:58,669 --> 00:24:57,539
something and she was like yeah you're a

595
00:25:01,510 --> 00:24:58,679
good nurse because you're blue and green

596
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:01,520
and I was like okay that sounds good

597
00:25:05,570 --> 00:25:03,720
something about being like calm and a

598
00:25:06,770 --> 00:25:05,580
nurturer I don't really know auras too

599
00:25:10,250 --> 00:25:06,780
well

600
00:25:13,789 --> 00:25:10,260
um but from what I understand the few

601
00:25:16,669 --> 00:25:13,799
deaths that she has been there

602
00:25:19,490 --> 00:25:16,679
um they kind of stay for like 10 minutes

603
00:25:21,950 --> 00:25:19,500
and then they're gone and you know from

604
00:25:23,270 --> 00:25:21,960
what I take from that is that patients

605
00:25:26,690 --> 00:25:23,280
kind of stick around for a little bit

606
00:25:28,549 --> 00:25:26,700
until they're ready to go right because

607
00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:28,559
they kind of want to see what's going on

608
00:25:33,710 --> 00:25:29,580
and

609
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:33,720
so

610
00:25:40,070 --> 00:25:38,760
seeing an animal it's like I know that

611
00:25:41,690 --> 00:25:40,080
you've had people like you know see

612
00:25:42,950 --> 00:25:41,700
brothers sisters mothers fathers what

613
00:25:46,970 --> 00:25:42,960
about animals

614
00:25:48,890 --> 00:25:46,980
yeah it's more rare for Animals most of

615
00:25:51,890 --> 00:25:48,900
the time it is family members or friends

616
00:25:53,570 --> 00:25:51,900
or you know someone like that but there

617
00:25:54,950 --> 00:25:53,580
have been occasionally patients where I

618
00:25:59,330 --> 00:25:54,960
would say they're animal or their pet

619
00:26:01,549 --> 00:25:59,340
was the closest person to them and I've

620
00:26:03,710 --> 00:26:01,559
had someone had a dog come back to get

621
00:26:05,690 --> 00:26:03,720
them and it was very

622
00:26:08,630 --> 00:26:05,700
um reassuring and calming and peaceful

623
00:26:10,010 --> 00:26:08,640
and happy for them and I thought that

624
00:26:12,830 --> 00:26:10,020
was wonderful and then I've had a few

625
00:26:14,570 --> 00:26:12,840
patients before that I they can't talk

626
00:26:17,029 --> 00:26:14,580
to me anymore but I feel like they're

627
00:26:20,090 --> 00:26:17,039
petting something like they're petting

628
00:26:22,070 --> 00:26:20,100
the air and of you know the family

629
00:26:23,450 --> 00:26:22,080
members will tell me that they had cats

630
00:26:26,149 --> 00:26:23,460
or dogs that they were very very close

631
00:26:27,289 --> 00:26:26,159
to so they're not able to tell me that

632
00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:27,299
they're seeing them but I kind of draw

633
00:26:31,430 --> 00:26:29,640
my own conclusions right their hand

634
00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:31,440
movements and everything yeah like they

635
00:26:35,090 --> 00:26:32,820
look like they're petting you know like

636
00:26:37,370 --> 00:26:35,100
a cat or something

637
00:26:39,289 --> 00:26:37,380
and maybe maybe if you like look and see

638
00:26:41,029 --> 00:26:39,299
if there's an indentation on the bed as

639
00:26:43,070 --> 00:26:41,039
well did you ever

640
00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:43,080
did you have never even thought to do

641
00:26:48,529 --> 00:26:46,440
that but you know cats are has anyone

642
00:26:51,049 --> 00:26:48,539
ever talked about like how cats can

643
00:26:54,230 --> 00:26:51,059
sense when someone's gonna die yeah

644
00:26:56,029 --> 00:26:54,240
because cats know like I've seen cats

645
00:26:58,130 --> 00:26:56,039
come like a day or two before someone

646
00:27:00,289 --> 00:26:58,140
dies and I did not know that the person

647
00:27:02,750 --> 00:27:00,299
had a cat like the cat would always hide

648
00:27:04,850 --> 00:27:02,760
when I came yeah and they will they'll

649
00:27:07,610 --> 00:27:04,860
sit there and dogs will too and they

650
00:27:10,250 --> 00:27:07,620
won't leave and I'm like oh no yeah

651
00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:10,260
there was um there was like a it was

652
00:27:15,409 --> 00:27:13,140
maybe five ten years ago that there was

653
00:27:17,090 --> 00:27:15,419
this hospital and I don't know if they

654
00:27:19,130 --> 00:27:17,100
were hospice but it was like a nursing

655
00:27:21,409 --> 00:27:19,140
home and every time someone would go and

656
00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:21,419
pass away the cat would go into their

657
00:27:25,549 --> 00:27:24,000
room it was like a facility cat he would

658
00:27:27,830 --> 00:27:25,559
go into their room and sit there and

659
00:27:29,810 --> 00:27:27,840
would not leave yeah until the person

660
00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:29,820
died and then some of the family members

661
00:27:32,870 --> 00:27:31,260
be like you know can you get the cat out

662
00:27:35,450 --> 00:27:32,880
and they're like no we're not touching

663
00:27:37,669 --> 00:27:35,460
the cat he's here for a reason when he

664
00:27:39,769 --> 00:27:37,679
comes into a room we don't move him but

665
00:27:41,870 --> 00:27:39,779
it's like comforting yeah it was a kind

666
00:27:44,090 --> 00:27:41,880
of like yeah with cuddle up next to a

667
00:27:46,789 --> 00:27:44,100
person just like stay with the person

668
00:27:48,409 --> 00:27:46,799
yeah yeah and I had one family one time

669
00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:48,419
that a patient died in the middle of the

670
00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:50,880
night and they said when I got there to

671
00:27:55,909 --> 00:27:52,500
the death they're like yeah the cat

672
00:27:57,529 --> 00:27:55,919
started meowing so loudly right when he

673
00:28:02,049 --> 00:27:57,539
died and I was like

674
00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:02,059
y'all have a cat like you know

675
00:28:07,730 --> 00:28:05,460
yeah all of a sudden this cat is just

676
00:28:09,950 --> 00:28:07,740
freaking out right whenever he dies

677
00:28:12,169 --> 00:28:09,960
yeah exactly no trust me I know the

678
00:28:13,730 --> 00:28:12,179
feeling it's it's totally off topic but

679
00:28:16,130 --> 00:28:13,740
when we moved in here the people we

680
00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:16,140
bought the house from they were like if

681
00:28:20,690 --> 00:28:18,000
you see our cat let us know it got

682
00:28:23,269 --> 00:28:20,700
outside and I'm like okay so I'm like

683
00:28:24,890 --> 00:28:23,279
six months pregnant and I'm like in the

684
00:28:27,649 --> 00:28:24,900
kitchen and I look and I see these two

685
00:28:29,930 --> 00:28:27,659
huge guys looking at me I screamed and

686
00:28:32,029 --> 00:28:29,940
then I'm like oh wait that's a cat

687
00:28:33,470 --> 00:28:32,039
I'm like I I called my husband I'm like

688
00:28:35,930 --> 00:28:33,480
you have to call them and tell them to

689
00:28:39,010 --> 00:28:35,940
come get there he said it was outside

690
00:28:41,029 --> 00:28:39,020
it's hiding in the house

691
00:28:44,450 --> 00:28:41,039
it was in the house the whole time

692
00:28:46,430 --> 00:28:44,460
behind the stove oh my gosh yeah

693
00:28:47,690 --> 00:28:46,440
yeah because I I don't know what I kind

694
00:28:50,269 --> 00:28:47,700
of moved it like I shouldn't have been

695
00:28:52,370 --> 00:28:50,279
moving anything but I didn't listen so I

696
00:28:53,750 --> 00:28:52,380
moved it to do something because I had

697
00:28:56,450 --> 00:28:53,760
dropped something or I wanted to do

698
00:28:58,909 --> 00:28:56,460
something and there there was this cat

699
00:29:03,169 --> 00:28:58,919
and it was like wedged behind the stove

700
00:29:05,269 --> 00:29:03,179
oh my soul would leave my body exactly I

701
00:29:07,370 --> 00:29:05,279
mean I scream pretty loud too I really

702
00:29:09,590 --> 00:29:07,380
didn't until I realized it was a cat and

703
00:29:11,870 --> 00:29:09,600
then I felt so like they need to come

704
00:29:13,730 --> 00:29:11,880
get their cat yeah

705
00:29:14,450 --> 00:29:13,740
oh my gosh

706
00:29:16,970 --> 00:29:14,460
um

707
00:29:20,090 --> 00:29:16,980
I'm gonna put this one up hang on

708
00:29:22,430 --> 00:29:20,100
so Android paranormal says I am curious

709
00:29:25,070 --> 00:29:22,440
why did you think you did not believe in

710
00:29:28,070 --> 00:29:25,080
an afterlife before being a nurse

711
00:29:30,830 --> 00:29:28,080
yeah so I had an instance when I was 15

712
00:29:32,810 --> 00:29:30,840
where one of my good friends in high

713
00:29:35,029 --> 00:29:32,820
school died while playing football like

714
00:29:37,430 --> 00:29:35,039
at the high school football game which

715
00:29:39,889 --> 00:29:37,440
was very jarring and I was raised

716
00:29:42,049 --> 00:29:39,899
extremely extremely religious and

717
00:29:45,049 --> 00:29:42,059
whenever that happened I just started

718
00:29:49,070 --> 00:29:45,059
questioning things I was like why would

719
00:29:51,470 --> 00:29:49,080
a God allow you know murderers to keep

720
00:29:53,990 --> 00:29:51,480
living but take a 15 year old

721
00:29:56,029 --> 00:29:54,000
you know who's done nothing wrong why

722
00:29:58,490 --> 00:29:56,039
would he do that and so I really started

723
00:29:59,990 --> 00:29:58,500
to question things and then when I

724
00:30:02,330 --> 00:30:00,000
worked in the ER

725
00:30:07,370 --> 00:30:02,340
one instance that really stands out to

726
00:30:09,169 --> 00:30:07,380
me is this patient needed surgery and I

727
00:30:12,350 --> 00:30:09,179
he wouldn't get it he said if I'm meant

728
00:30:13,970 --> 00:30:12,360
to live God Will Save Me and the ER

729
00:30:16,549 --> 00:30:13,980
nurse that I was with because I was

730
00:30:19,430 --> 00:30:16,559
training was like all right whatever

731
00:30:22,789 --> 00:30:19,440
he's stupid and I was like well so do

732
00:30:25,130 --> 00:30:22,799
you not believe in that and she was like

733
00:30:27,350 --> 00:30:25,140
no I don't know anyone who works in the

734
00:30:31,310 --> 00:30:27,360
ER who believes in an afterlife like you

735
00:30:33,230 --> 00:30:31,320
just see the worst of the worst and I

736
00:30:34,909 --> 00:30:33,240
started to really get that mindset too

737
00:30:39,110 --> 00:30:34,919
like why would all these bad things

738
00:30:41,570 --> 00:30:39,120
happen if there's this afterlife and you

739
00:30:44,210 --> 00:30:41,580
know through working in hospice I now

740
00:30:46,490 --> 00:30:44,220
feel like it's undeniable like I can't

741
00:30:49,010 --> 00:30:46,500
ignore that all of these things keep

742
00:30:50,870 --> 00:30:49,020
happening and that's one of the the

743
00:30:52,610 --> 00:30:50,880
meanings of my book The in between that

744
00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:52,620
it's okay for me to not have all the

745
00:30:56,149 --> 00:30:54,779
answers and it's okay to accept that

746
00:30:58,190 --> 00:30:56,159
there's bad things that happen in the

747
00:30:59,870 --> 00:30:58,200
world and that there's also probably an

748
00:31:02,210 --> 00:30:59,880
afterlife

749
00:31:05,930 --> 00:31:02,220
and I think when you work in the ER too

750
00:31:07,730 --> 00:31:05,940
from at least what I know my mom you you

751
00:31:10,370 --> 00:31:07,740
could go into two ways you can become

752
00:31:11,990 --> 00:31:10,380
that like jaded dark person who just

753
00:31:14,029 --> 00:31:12,000
doesn't believe in anything or you can

754
00:31:16,490 --> 00:31:14,039
like have that sick twisted sense of

755
00:31:19,610 --> 00:31:16,500
humor yeah she she went to the sick

756
00:31:21,590 --> 00:31:19,620
twisted sense of humor type person and

757
00:31:23,510 --> 00:31:21,600
but I mean she still believed in stuff

758
00:31:25,610 --> 00:31:23,520
because then she went on to be a cardiac

759
00:31:27,230 --> 00:31:25,620
critical care nurse and she has all

760
00:31:29,090 --> 00:31:27,240
kinds of experiences on that floor as

761
00:31:31,370 --> 00:31:29,100
well like there were monitors that would

762
00:31:34,490 --> 00:31:31,380
go off at a certain time when the DJ

763
00:31:36,049 --> 00:31:34,500
died and nobody was in that bed and they

764
00:31:38,210 --> 00:31:36,059
would have to physically go in and

765
00:31:39,889 --> 00:31:38,220
unplug the monitors they would get back

766
00:31:41,870 --> 00:31:39,899
to the station and the monitors would

767
00:31:44,470 --> 00:31:41,880
still be going off at the same time his

768
00:31:47,750 --> 00:31:44,480
radio station would be playing his show

769
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:47,760
wow and it would last until the end of a

770
00:31:50,330 --> 00:31:49,500
show and then the monitor would just be

771
00:31:52,850 --> 00:31:50,340
dead

772
00:31:56,269 --> 00:31:52,860
wow yeah I remember her telling me that

773
00:31:57,769 --> 00:31:56,279
so I mean she she believed but yeah you

774
00:31:59,630 --> 00:31:57,779
know she went to that and then you did

775
00:32:02,210 --> 00:31:59,640
have the nurses who were like you know

776
00:32:04,010 --> 00:32:02,220
there's no afterlife but just you know

777
00:32:07,510 --> 00:32:04,020
people don't want to do stuff they just

778
00:32:11,149 --> 00:32:07,520
don't care you know that's yeah yeah

779
00:32:14,269 --> 00:32:11,159
it's hard to work in New York yeah that

780
00:32:17,570 --> 00:32:14,279
is a very hard job even what you do is a

781
00:32:19,690 --> 00:32:17,580
very hard job like yeah I could not do

782
00:32:22,549 --> 00:32:19,700
that

783
00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:22,559
yeah I could not

784
00:32:28,789 --> 00:32:26,220
um so what what has like

785
00:32:31,370 --> 00:32:28,799
is there I'm trying to think of a way to

786
00:32:35,389 --> 00:32:31,380
phrase this hang on sorry my mind you're

787
00:32:39,289 --> 00:32:37,310
I'm gonna put this up this comment how

788
00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:39,299
about that and then try to gather my

789
00:32:43,370 --> 00:32:41,760
thoughts I I'm just going to I have baby

790
00:32:46,850 --> 00:32:43,380
brain right now so my mind just went

791
00:32:49,430 --> 00:32:46,860
blank so oh I totally understand yeah 44

792
00:32:51,950 --> 00:32:49,440
years is a long time so 50 years

793
00:32:54,529 --> 00:32:51,960
actually is a nursing field 10 years in

794
00:32:56,570 --> 00:32:54,539
hospice very rewarding I totally agree I

795
00:32:58,669 --> 00:32:56,580
totally totally agree it is very

796
00:33:01,070 --> 00:32:58,679
rewarding

797
00:33:02,950 --> 00:33:01,080
if you weren't doing this what do you

798
00:33:07,250 --> 00:33:02,960
think you would be doing

799
00:33:10,130 --> 00:33:07,260
I don't know I really felt very lost

800
00:33:13,610 --> 00:33:10,140
um before I found hospice and I was like

801
00:33:16,070 --> 00:33:13,620
is nursing even for me like I was just

802
00:33:18,470 --> 00:33:16,080
going to work just to go just to put

803
00:33:20,630 --> 00:33:18,480
food on the table so to say

804
00:33:22,850 --> 00:33:20,640
um my only other field that I felt like

805
00:33:24,409 --> 00:33:22,860
would have been a good fit was a labor

806
00:33:28,789 --> 00:33:24,419
and delivery so I guess I just like the

807
00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:30,710
so and I give those girls a lot of

808
00:33:34,310 --> 00:33:32,220
credit to having been the patient and

809
00:33:37,610 --> 00:33:34,320
going to be a patient again give those

810
00:33:40,430 --> 00:33:37,620
girls because I I was very stubborn with

811
00:33:41,389 --> 00:33:40,440
my son and they put up with a lot for me

812
00:33:43,610 --> 00:33:41,399
so

813
00:33:47,149 --> 00:33:43,620
they're wonderful and they're very

814
00:33:48,470 --> 00:33:47,159
highly skilled in what they do too and a

815
00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:48,480
lot of people even know that that they

816
00:33:54,289 --> 00:33:51,840
function very independently too yeah and

817
00:33:57,110 --> 00:33:54,299
I had the one nurse I had she reminded

818
00:33:59,630 --> 00:33:57,120
me of my mom like she came out of

819
00:34:01,549 --> 00:33:59,640
nowhere they had an emergency and she

820
00:34:02,990 --> 00:34:01,559
grabbed my hand and I told her I

821
00:34:04,430 --> 00:34:03,000
couldn't do it anymore and she looked at

822
00:34:07,310 --> 00:34:04,440
me and she said oh you're gonna do it

823
00:34:08,990 --> 00:34:07,320
it's too late now you're gonna do it and

824
00:34:10,909 --> 00:34:09,000
like I froze for a second because I

825
00:34:13,790 --> 00:34:10,919
literally thought that was my mom and I

826
00:34:15,349 --> 00:34:13,800
was just like oh my God you know so

827
00:34:18,589 --> 00:34:15,359
those are the people you need sometimes

828
00:34:20,270 --> 00:34:18,599
though exactly that tough love type have

829
00:34:23,030 --> 00:34:20,280
you ever had to give somebody that tough

830
00:34:27,230 --> 00:34:23,040
love type in hospice

831
00:34:28,730 --> 00:34:27,240
yeah I try to do it pretty gently but

832
00:34:31,190 --> 00:34:28,740
you know sometimes you just have people

833
00:34:34,550 --> 00:34:31,200
who are like very very very angry and

834
00:34:36,530 --> 00:34:34,560
they try to take it out on you and you

835
00:34:38,869 --> 00:34:36,540
know I had one patient who was just oh

836
00:34:40,669 --> 00:34:38,879
this isn't right and I don't like this

837
00:34:42,409 --> 00:34:40,679
medication and your doctor won't change

838
00:34:45,649 --> 00:34:42,419
it and I just hate every you know just

839
00:34:47,629 --> 00:34:45,659
hate everything and I finally just

840
00:34:50,389 --> 00:34:47,639
looked at her and said you know what can

841
00:34:53,030 --> 00:34:50,399
I do to make you happy yeah and she's

842
00:34:56,510 --> 00:34:53,040
like you I cannot be dying

843
00:34:57,290 --> 00:34:56,520
and I just was quiet because I mean you

844
00:35:00,230 --> 00:34:57,300
know

845
00:35:02,930 --> 00:35:00,240
yeah I can't do that and that really was

846
00:35:04,670 --> 00:35:02,940
the root of it yeah and I just let her

847
00:35:07,270 --> 00:35:04,680
sit with it for a minute and she she

848
00:35:09,770 --> 00:35:07,280
stopped complaining

849
00:35:12,710 --> 00:35:09,780
the symptoms tough love is the best

850
00:35:16,190 --> 00:35:12,720
honestly yeah it really is

851
00:35:17,510 --> 00:35:16,200
so and you have a non-profit you have

852
00:35:19,069 --> 00:35:17,520
started as well do you want to tell

853
00:35:21,470 --> 00:35:19,079
everyone about that how's that going

854
00:35:23,210 --> 00:35:21,480
yeah it's going good I'm still waiting

855
00:35:25,190 --> 00:35:23,220
to hear back from the government on

856
00:35:27,230 --> 00:35:25,200
being approved to be a non-profit so I

857
00:35:28,849 --> 00:35:27,240
can start fundraising in its tax-free

858
00:35:32,450 --> 00:35:28,859
basically

859
00:35:34,790 --> 00:35:32,460
um but the issue I see at least in my

860
00:35:36,349 --> 00:35:34,800
immediate Community is that hospice

861
00:35:38,690 --> 00:35:36,359
offers something called respite care

862
00:35:40,310 --> 00:35:38,700
which is where they'll pay insurance

863
00:35:42,950 --> 00:35:40,320
they'll pay for up to five days for you

864
00:35:45,589 --> 00:35:42,960
to go into a facility whenever

865
00:35:47,329 --> 00:35:45,599
caregiving is too tough on the caregiver

866
00:35:50,390 --> 00:35:47,339
it gives them a break lets them

867
00:35:51,710 --> 00:35:50,400
replenish their batteries and get back

868
00:35:54,770 --> 00:35:51,720
to being able to care for someone at

869
00:35:57,470 --> 00:35:54,780
home a patient the issue I see is that a

870
00:35:59,870 --> 00:35:57,480
lot of the places around me do not allow

871
00:36:01,670 --> 00:35:59,880
for the caregiver to stay so they're

872
00:36:03,109 --> 00:36:01,680
either given a chair at best or they're

873
00:36:04,670 --> 00:36:03,119
just not allowed to stay at all like in

874
00:36:07,210 --> 00:36:04,680
nursing homes

875
00:36:09,349 --> 00:36:07,220
um they'll so they won't use it because

876
00:36:11,810 --> 00:36:09,359
unfortunately usually whenever

877
00:36:13,910 --> 00:36:11,820
caregiving gets too tough is near the

878
00:36:16,730 --> 00:36:13,920
end of life when symptoms are getting

879
00:36:18,170 --> 00:36:16,740
more difficult to manage and so if

880
00:36:19,670 --> 00:36:18,180
there's a chance that they won't be

881
00:36:21,170 --> 00:36:19,680
there when their loved one dies after

882
00:36:22,550 --> 00:36:21,180
say caring for them for five years

883
00:36:25,030 --> 00:36:22,560
they're not going to take that chance

884
00:36:27,950 --> 00:36:25,040
they just say I won't sleep for a week

885
00:36:31,550 --> 00:36:27,960
and I get it

886
00:36:35,150 --> 00:36:31,560
um but these caregivers are so extremely

887
00:36:37,910 --> 00:36:35,160
burned out and so I want to open a

888
00:36:40,370 --> 00:36:37,920
hospice house that gives caregivers a

889
00:36:42,290 --> 00:36:40,380
bed to sleep in they're so welcome to

890
00:36:43,730 --> 00:36:42,300
come but they're not going to have

891
00:36:45,109 --> 00:36:43,740
caregiving responsibilities while

892
00:36:46,790 --> 00:36:45,119
they're there but we're going to give

893
00:36:50,089 --> 00:36:46,800
them a bed we're going to give them food

894
00:36:52,730 --> 00:36:50,099
to eat you know really give them a break

895
00:36:54,050 --> 00:36:52,740
without worrying that their loved one's

896
00:36:55,250 --> 00:36:54,060
going to die when they're not there or

897
00:36:57,290 --> 00:36:55,260
that they're not going to be cared for

898
00:36:59,569 --> 00:36:57,300
because also in my community I live near

899
00:37:02,930 --> 00:36:59,579
New Orleans and

900
00:37:06,890 --> 00:37:02,940
um there's a lot of distrust for the

901
00:37:09,410 --> 00:37:06,900
medical community and I get that so if I

902
00:37:11,210 --> 00:37:09,420
say you come you get to you know oversee

903
00:37:14,630 --> 00:37:11,220
us get to do everything and I think that

904
00:37:16,370 --> 00:37:14,640
they're it'll be used more right and it

905
00:37:18,109 --> 00:37:16,380
might be a touchy subject but I'm just

906
00:37:21,109 --> 00:37:18,119
going to ask out where is it because of

907
00:37:22,970 --> 00:37:21,119
Katrina is that why or is it just you

908
00:37:24,170 --> 00:37:22,980
know people have that distrust in

909
00:37:26,930 --> 00:37:24,180
general

910
00:37:27,890 --> 00:37:26,940
it's it's definitely a distress in

911
00:37:29,810 --> 00:37:27,900
general

912
00:37:34,490 --> 00:37:29,820
um around here

913
00:37:36,829 --> 00:37:34,500
um and I don't really know why but there

914
00:37:40,609 --> 00:37:36,839
really is they a lot of people do not

915
00:37:43,609 --> 00:37:40,619
trust medical professionals around here

916
00:37:46,310 --> 00:37:43,619
okay I've just linked your uh your

917
00:37:48,530 --> 00:37:46,320
website in the comments oh thank you so

918
00:37:50,089 --> 00:37:48,540
you're welcome I just want to get that

919
00:37:52,609 --> 00:37:50,099
there because I'm not trying to have it

920
00:37:54,109 --> 00:37:52,619
in the banners but yeah no that's I

921
00:37:57,109 --> 00:37:54,119
think that's everywhere but that that

922
00:37:59,390 --> 00:37:57,119
sounds like a bigger thing where you are

923
00:38:01,370 --> 00:37:59,400
yeah absolutely yeah and it might be

924
00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:01,380
everywhere that I just really only know

925
00:38:08,630 --> 00:38:05,460
my community but you know I get it I

926
00:38:10,910 --> 00:38:08,640
really do and I think that Katrina kovid

927
00:38:12,410 --> 00:38:10,920
you know a lot of issues have

928
00:38:15,410 --> 00:38:12,420
exacerbated that

929
00:38:17,270 --> 00:38:15,420
yeah and and like you said kova did not

930
00:38:19,490 --> 00:38:17,280
help anything

931
00:38:21,109 --> 00:38:19,500
um have you ever taken care of a coveted

932
00:38:22,970 --> 00:38:21,119
patient during hospice if you don't mind

933
00:38:26,510 --> 00:38:22,980
me asking it do you have a story about

934
00:38:29,450 --> 00:38:26,520
that oh yeah or you can okay do you have

935
00:38:30,890 --> 00:38:29,460
yeah you know I don't think it's too

936
00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:30,900
different from

937
00:38:34,730 --> 00:38:32,280
um you know taking care of a lot of

938
00:38:37,670 --> 00:38:34,740
patients with like pneumonia

939
00:38:39,050 --> 00:38:37,680
um at the end of life and it's pretty

940
00:38:41,030 --> 00:38:39,060
similar

941
00:38:43,069 --> 00:38:41,040
um you know difficulties breathing like

942
00:38:44,930 --> 00:38:43,079
a COPD for people who have like smoke

943
00:38:48,230 --> 00:38:44,940
for years

944
00:38:50,569 --> 00:38:48,240
um where we we give them oxygen morphine

945
00:38:51,310 --> 00:38:50,579
can help with like the air hunger kind

946
00:38:53,210 --> 00:38:51,320
of

947
00:38:55,130 --> 00:38:53,220
feelings

948
00:38:57,770 --> 00:38:55,140
um but I haven't had one in a while

949
00:38:59,690 --> 00:38:57,780
actually probably a year no that's good

950
00:39:02,630 --> 00:38:59,700
for a while I was having quite a few

951
00:39:05,870 --> 00:39:02,640
well that's really good

952
00:39:07,069 --> 00:39:05,880
um what is the oldest hospice patient

953
00:39:10,190 --> 00:39:07,079
you've had

954
00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:10,200
I have had someone so you're not allowed

955
00:39:14,630 --> 00:39:13,020
to say exact age if they're over 100 but

956
00:39:17,870 --> 00:39:14,640
I've had multiple patients over a

957
00:39:19,970 --> 00:39:17,880
hundred oh wow okay yeah because it's

958
00:39:22,310 --> 00:39:19,980
HIPAA because I guess if you say like if

959
00:39:25,010 --> 00:39:22,320
say if I said 110 if there's only like

960
00:39:26,630 --> 00:39:25,020
10 people who are 110 and one of them

961
00:39:31,810 --> 00:39:26,640
lives near New Orleans I guess you could

962
00:39:36,829 --> 00:39:34,250
apparently that's what they say so yeah

963
00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:36,839
so if they're under six or over a

964
00:39:39,530 --> 00:39:38,520
hundred you can't say the ages that

965
00:39:41,630 --> 00:39:39,540
you've cared for

966
00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:41,640
oh okay I did not know that was part of

967
00:39:45,589 --> 00:39:43,260
HIPAA see I just learned something new

968
00:39:49,670 --> 00:39:45,599
me neither until like a year ago so I'm

969
00:39:53,870 --> 00:39:52,069
my next question because that was

970
00:39:56,690 --> 00:39:53,880
because it was the youngest you have had

971
00:39:59,690 --> 00:39:56,700
yeah under six hundreds unfortunately

972
00:40:03,050 --> 00:40:00,470
um

973
00:40:04,550 --> 00:40:03,060
I'm trying to think of anything else is

974
00:40:07,069 --> 00:40:04,560
there any other stories you want to tell

975
00:40:08,870 --> 00:40:07,079
us that you can think of

976
00:40:11,089 --> 00:40:08,880
you know there's one that's not in my

977
00:40:13,790 --> 00:40:11,099
book that I really really love

978
00:40:16,430 --> 00:40:13,800
um because I feel like it shows the like

979
00:40:19,609 --> 00:40:16,440
willpower of the human mind

980
00:40:22,609 --> 00:40:19,619
um but I had a patient who

981
00:40:25,010 --> 00:40:22,619
he whenever I admit a patient my first

982
00:40:26,870 --> 00:40:25,020
question is always what is your goal

983
00:40:30,290 --> 00:40:26,880
while in hospice care because people

984
00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:30,300
have very different goals and so this

985
00:40:36,410 --> 00:40:32,760
patient's goal was to see his son be

986
00:40:39,050 --> 00:40:36,420
born and whenever we admit patients we

987
00:40:40,670 --> 00:40:39,060
get a packet from the hospital and

988
00:40:42,290 --> 00:40:40,680
sometimes they'll write like off the

989
00:40:45,230 --> 00:40:42,300
record notes on them like the doctor

990
00:40:46,550 --> 00:40:45,240
will so the off the record note from a

991
00:40:49,670 --> 00:40:46,560
doctor said like

992
00:40:51,890 --> 00:40:49,680
he's going to die soon which we needed

993
00:40:53,450 --> 00:40:51,900
to know because sometimes you can wait

994
00:40:55,130 --> 00:40:53,460
to do an admission like till the next

995
00:40:57,290 --> 00:40:55,140
morning but this was one where he was

996
00:40:58,970 --> 00:40:57,300
like hey you need to go do it tonight

997
00:41:00,829 --> 00:40:58,980
like cinderell and call nurse to go do

998
00:41:03,170 --> 00:41:00,839
it tonight like that was how serious it

999
00:41:05,690 --> 00:41:03,180
was so I remember looking at his wife

1000
00:41:08,930 --> 00:41:05,700
and I could not even see a baby bum and

1001
00:41:10,730 --> 00:41:08,940
I was like oh great she was 18 weeks

1002
00:41:16,790 --> 00:41:10,740
come to find out

1003
00:41:18,829 --> 00:41:16,800
um so I was like oh great so we get them

1004
00:41:22,010 --> 00:41:18,839
home we get them comfortable

1005
00:41:23,210 --> 00:41:22,020
and you know about a week later I

1006
00:41:25,430 --> 00:41:23,220
remember sitting in our meeting and

1007
00:41:27,770 --> 00:41:25,440
being like yeah he's he's still hanging

1008
00:41:30,349 --> 00:41:27,780
in there like he's looking okay I wonder

1009
00:41:32,510 --> 00:41:30,359
if some of it was pain control

1010
00:41:35,290 --> 00:41:32,520
um but still I mean he had cancer like

1011
00:41:37,849 --> 00:41:35,300
you you got a time limit on that and

1012
00:41:41,030 --> 00:41:37,859
once we got to week

1013
00:41:45,589 --> 00:41:41,040
30. I just remember every single morning

1014
00:41:47,089 --> 00:41:45,599
being extremely anxious like okay like

1015
00:41:48,410 --> 00:41:47,099
please hang in there please hang in

1016
00:41:49,910 --> 00:41:48,420
there you know we're getting so close

1017
00:41:52,550 --> 00:41:49,920
like when I didn't even think it would

1018
00:41:56,089 --> 00:41:52,560
be a possibility to live to week 30 of

1019
00:41:57,050 --> 00:41:56,099
her pregnancy and so his cat hanging in

1020
00:42:01,190 --> 00:41:57,060
there and of course she was very

1021
00:42:04,490 --> 00:42:01,200
stressed too I can imagine yeah and she

1022
00:42:06,410 --> 00:42:04,500
ended up going into labor at 35 weeks

1023
00:42:08,750 --> 00:42:06,420
and

1024
00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:08,760
um what we were just glad she could do

1025
00:42:12,170 --> 00:42:10,079
that long with all the stress that she

1026
00:42:15,349 --> 00:42:12,180
was under and

1027
00:42:17,930 --> 00:42:15,359
um I got to go to the hospital

1028
00:42:22,190 --> 00:42:17,940
um whenever the baby was in there and he

1029
00:42:25,510 --> 00:42:22,200
was in there and baby came home and he

1030
00:42:28,910 --> 00:42:25,520
died like two days later but he made it

1031
00:42:31,609 --> 00:42:28,920
I was like that just is amazing that is

1032
00:42:35,450 --> 00:42:31,619
I mean that shows you know his willpower

1033
00:42:38,210 --> 00:42:35,460
it's just the human willpower to just

1034
00:42:41,569 --> 00:42:38,220
you know fight to live until

1035
00:42:43,069 --> 00:42:41,579
the end basically yeah absolutely and

1036
00:42:45,230 --> 00:42:43,079
the power of the mind it's really crazy

1037
00:42:47,150 --> 00:42:45,240
and you know people can like choose when

1038
00:42:48,650 --> 00:42:47,160
they die I've always found that to be

1039
00:42:50,450 --> 00:42:48,660
very crazy too

1040
00:42:53,750 --> 00:42:50,460
can you explain that a little bit for

1041
00:42:56,990 --> 00:42:53,760
those who don't know yeah absolutely so

1042
00:42:58,370 --> 00:42:57,000
you know I would say like how crazy it

1043
00:43:00,349 --> 00:42:58,380
is when you think about it like if I

1044
00:43:02,450 --> 00:43:00,359
said I want to go to sleep right now I

1045
00:43:04,250 --> 00:43:02,460
couldn't do that but patients seem to be

1046
00:43:06,589 --> 00:43:04,260
able to choose when they die down to the

1047
00:43:10,790 --> 00:43:06,599
second so one that stands out to me the

1048
00:43:13,370 --> 00:43:10,800
most is that I had a patient who told me

1049
00:43:15,890 --> 00:43:13,380
I'm not going to die in front of my

1050
00:43:17,329 --> 00:43:15,900
husband so you need to warn him like

1051
00:43:18,890 --> 00:43:17,339
it's like going to the bathroom that's

1052
00:43:22,309 --> 00:43:18,900
something you don't do in front of other

1053
00:43:25,010 --> 00:43:22,319
people and I knew at this point that

1054
00:43:27,890 --> 00:43:25,020
people can choose when they die and so I

1055
00:43:29,809 --> 00:43:27,900
warned him I was like hey this is gonna

1056
00:43:31,550 --> 00:43:29,819
happen she's not gonna die in front of

1057
00:43:33,349 --> 00:43:31,560
you and he was like the type that did

1058
00:43:36,530 --> 00:43:33,359
not leave her alone he was like a

1059
00:43:37,970 --> 00:43:36,540
helicopter spouse and so I tried to warn

1060
00:43:39,349 --> 00:43:37,980
him and he was like yeah she's not going

1061
00:43:41,829 --> 00:43:39,359
to choose that doesn't happen and I'm

1062
00:43:46,309 --> 00:43:41,839
gonna be there I was like oh Lord

1063
00:43:48,290 --> 00:43:46,319
so she is in a coma at some point and he

1064
00:43:49,730 --> 00:43:48,300
will not leave her side at all like when

1065
00:43:52,069 --> 00:43:49,740
I would visit him daily I'd have to

1066
00:43:54,950 --> 00:43:52,079
bring him food to her bedside he would

1067
00:43:56,569 --> 00:43:54,960
not leave and I was like oh and I kept

1068
00:43:59,569 --> 00:43:56,579
trying to warn him and he was like well

1069
00:44:00,650 --> 00:43:59,579
I mean I'm not gonna leave so in the

1070
00:44:03,109 --> 00:44:00,660
middle of the night I get the call that

1071
00:44:05,569 --> 00:44:03,119
she died from him go to the house and as

1072
00:44:07,609 --> 00:44:05,579
soon as I show up he's like

1073
00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:07,619
um he's in shock he's like she did he's

1074
00:44:10,790 --> 00:44:09,240
like I went to the bathroom that was

1075
00:44:12,890 --> 00:44:10,800
like from here to the wall

1076
00:44:16,130 --> 00:44:12,900
with the door open and went to the

1077
00:44:18,530 --> 00:44:16,140
bathroom I was gone left yeah no I was

1078
00:44:21,170 --> 00:44:18,540
gone less than a minute and she died oh

1079
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:21,180
my God and I was like oh my goodness

1080
00:44:26,450 --> 00:44:23,880
yeah she was very she was very

1081
00:44:28,730 --> 00:44:26,460
determined not to have him there yeah

1082
00:44:31,069 --> 00:44:28,740
and you know people who say like she was

1083
00:44:33,410 --> 00:44:31,079
in a coma like how did she even know

1084
00:44:35,750 --> 00:44:33,420
that he had gone to the bathroom

1085
00:44:37,490 --> 00:44:35,760
I think people in the coma tend to know

1086
00:44:39,770 --> 00:44:37,500
they're I think they're more aware of

1087
00:44:42,290 --> 00:44:39,780
things going on than people give them

1088
00:44:45,050 --> 00:44:42,300
credit for at least in my opinion I do

1089
00:44:46,970 --> 00:44:45,060
too but it's crazy yeah and I didn't

1090
00:44:47,870 --> 00:44:46,980
mean to laugh it just like he you know

1091
00:44:49,069 --> 00:44:47,880
it is

1092
00:44:50,809 --> 00:44:49,079
going to leave her alone so much and

1093
00:44:52,609 --> 00:44:50,819
he's like having the door open I can

1094
00:44:54,530 --> 00:44:52,619
kind of like imagine like peeking like

1095
00:44:57,109 --> 00:44:54,540
trying to keep an eye on her and do

1096
00:44:59,510 --> 00:44:57,119
whatever at the same time you know

1097
00:45:02,630 --> 00:44:59,520
he was so funny like if y'all could have

1098
00:45:03,849 --> 00:45:02,640
known him he he had a ukulele that he

1099
00:45:07,790 --> 00:45:03,859
would play

1100
00:45:10,309 --> 00:45:07,800
would be like

1101
00:45:12,470 --> 00:45:10,319
please stop like that is so annoying and

1102
00:45:14,470 --> 00:45:12,480
he's like she just loves it when I play

1103
00:45:19,010 --> 00:45:14,480
the ukulele

1104
00:45:22,190 --> 00:45:19,020
now that's true love right there yeah

1105
00:45:24,410 --> 00:45:22,200
oh my gosh okay so we have a question

1106
00:45:27,470 --> 00:45:24,420
from Deborah do you see the differences

1107
00:45:29,390 --> 00:45:27,480
in physiology changes in the patients

1108
00:45:31,550 --> 00:45:29,400
who have passed naturally versus those

1109
00:45:33,170 --> 00:45:31,560
who have had palliative or medically

1110
00:45:34,370 --> 00:45:33,180
assisted passing

1111
00:45:36,109 --> 00:45:34,380
so

1112
00:45:38,510 --> 00:45:36,119
um physician assisted suicide is not

1113
00:45:41,630 --> 00:45:38,520
legal in my state so I've never seen

1114
00:45:45,050 --> 00:45:41,640
physician-assisted suicide so all of my

1115
00:45:47,870 --> 00:45:45,060
patients technically pass naturally

1116
00:45:49,849 --> 00:45:47,880
um but as far as patients who have

1117
00:45:52,069 --> 00:45:49,859
narcotics at the end of life versus

1118
00:45:57,530 --> 00:45:52,079
patients who do not I don't see any

1119
00:46:02,030 --> 00:45:59,450
yeah I think there's only a handful of

1120
00:46:04,670 --> 00:46:02,040
states that have it I think I think it's

1121
00:46:07,130 --> 00:46:04,680
five yeah I think New York's one of them

1122
00:46:08,690 --> 00:46:07,140
I know California they were fighting for

1123
00:46:10,309 --> 00:46:08,700
it I can't remember if it passed in

1124
00:46:13,309 --> 00:46:10,319
California they have I think California

1125
00:46:15,770 --> 00:46:13,319
has it uh Utah and there was a couple

1126
00:46:16,990 --> 00:46:15,780
others yeah I think Washington has it

1127
00:46:20,390 --> 00:46:17,000
too

1128
00:46:21,829 --> 00:46:20,400
okay what do you think of that you're if

1129
00:46:23,690 --> 00:46:21,839
you want to touch on that if you don't

1130
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:23,700
want to touch on it no I don't mind at

1131
00:46:29,030 --> 00:46:26,760
all no I don't mind at all so honestly I

1132
00:46:31,670 --> 00:46:29,040
go very back and forth on this

1133
00:46:33,650 --> 00:46:31,680
um so the way it is here is that you

1134
00:46:37,849 --> 00:46:33,660
have to be able to

1135
00:46:40,370 --> 00:46:37,859
take it yourself the medication so you

1136
00:46:42,170 --> 00:46:40,380
know unfortunately that kind of leaves

1137
00:46:44,990 --> 00:46:42,180
people who are in a situation who have

1138
00:46:47,870 --> 00:46:45,000
like say cancer where every morning they

1139
00:46:51,170 --> 00:46:47,880
wake up and they're like well what if I

1140
00:46:53,510 --> 00:46:51,180
lose that ability tomorrow like should I

1141
00:46:56,990 --> 00:46:53,520
basically kill myself today because I'm

1142
00:46:59,089 --> 00:46:57,000
worried about losing that ability and so

1143
00:47:01,910 --> 00:46:59,099
I don't really like that people are put

1144
00:47:04,510 --> 00:47:01,920
in that situation so on one hand I feel

1145
00:47:06,770 --> 00:47:04,520
like you should be able to

1146
00:47:09,950 --> 00:47:06,780
your spouse or your parent or whoever

1147
00:47:13,010 --> 00:47:09,960
your power of attorney be able to say

1148
00:47:15,050 --> 00:47:13,020
okay I know that my loved one say Hadley

1149
00:47:16,670 --> 00:47:15,060
doesn't have quality of life anymore and

1150
00:47:18,770 --> 00:47:16,680
she wouldn't want to live and that's

1151
00:47:21,650 --> 00:47:18,780
whenever you should be able to

1152
00:47:23,630 --> 00:47:21,660
take it but you know as of right now you

1153
00:47:25,069 --> 00:47:23,640
have to have the ability to take it and

1154
00:47:27,710 --> 00:47:25,079
sometimes people still have a lot of

1155
00:47:29,210 --> 00:47:27,720
quality of life left

1156
00:47:31,370 --> 00:47:29,220
um whenever they're ending their life so

1157
00:47:33,530 --> 00:47:31,380
that I don't really support but then on

1158
00:47:35,030 --> 00:47:33,540
the other hand so that was my stance on

1159
00:47:36,650 --> 00:47:35,040
it right like you should be able to tell

1160
00:47:39,589 --> 00:47:36,660
someone and then I heard from the

1161
00:47:42,170 --> 00:47:39,599
disabled community that said I'm

1162
00:47:44,569 --> 00:47:42,180
concerned about that and giving over

1163
00:47:49,130 --> 00:47:44,579
power of attorney to anyone who then has

1164
00:47:50,990 --> 00:47:49,140
the power to kill me yeah and so I just

1165
00:47:52,490 --> 00:47:51,000
go so back and forth on that because I

1166
00:47:56,930 --> 00:47:52,500
hear that too and I understand that

1167
00:47:58,910 --> 00:47:56,940
concern too and so you know it's hard no

1168
00:48:00,710 --> 00:47:58,920
it is it's a very hard thing and then

1169
00:48:02,630 --> 00:48:00,720
the people who do say have you know

1170
00:48:04,309 --> 00:48:02,640
cancer or something that's a rigorous

1171
00:48:06,650 --> 00:48:04,319
process to go through if you've ever

1172
00:48:07,970 --> 00:48:06,660
looked into it like whether you're

1173
00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:07,980
writing a paper whatever you're doing

1174
00:48:12,589 --> 00:48:10,260
like if you look into it's a rigorous

1175
00:48:14,690 --> 00:48:12,599
process no matter what where you get it

1176
00:48:16,970 --> 00:48:14,700
you get here or out of the country

1177
00:48:19,309 --> 00:48:16,980
it takes forever and are you going to be

1178
00:48:20,510 --> 00:48:19,319
the same as you were like in a year to

1179
00:48:23,630 --> 00:48:20,520
six months

1180
00:48:25,790 --> 00:48:23,640
yeah absolutely yeah it's fine yeah it's

1181
00:48:27,890 --> 00:48:25,800
quite a process but you know there's

1182
00:48:30,290 --> 00:48:27,900
also people who have done it or before

1183
00:48:32,990 --> 00:48:30,300
they did it obviously that we're happy

1184
00:48:36,050 --> 00:48:33,000
with it so those people are valid too

1185
00:48:37,849 --> 00:48:36,060
it's very difficult yeah no it's it's a

1186
00:48:40,430 --> 00:48:37,859
very it's not only a touchy subject but

1187
00:48:43,069 --> 00:48:40,440
it's also very difficult to be on both

1188
00:48:44,329 --> 00:48:43,079
sides yeah no I agree yeah

1189
00:48:46,550 --> 00:48:44,339
um

1190
00:48:47,930 --> 00:48:46,560
let's see now I did have a question then

1191
00:48:49,730 --> 00:48:47,940
we got talking about that and like I

1192
00:48:53,150 --> 00:48:49,740
said my mind just went like

1193
00:48:55,550 --> 00:48:53,160
have you have you ever had anyone who

1194
00:48:58,309 --> 00:48:55,560
discharge themselves from hospice does

1195
00:49:01,490 --> 00:48:58,319
anyone ever discharge themselves and say

1196
00:49:04,430 --> 00:49:01,500
do they recover or do they think they've

1197
00:49:06,710 --> 00:49:04,440
recovered until they come back to you

1198
00:49:08,510 --> 00:49:06,720
yeah yeah people definitely can

1199
00:49:10,130 --> 00:49:08,520
discharge and that usually is they're

1200
00:49:11,870 --> 00:49:10,140
discharging themselves

1201
00:49:14,870 --> 00:49:11,880
um occasionally we'll have people and I

1202
00:49:17,089 --> 00:49:14,880
get it like um we'll have people who are

1203
00:49:19,250 --> 00:49:17,099
on it for say cancer and then they have

1204
00:49:21,470 --> 00:49:19,260
a stroke and their loved ones call 9-1-1

1205
00:49:23,569 --> 00:49:21,480
which I get it it's like yeah you were

1206
00:49:24,829 --> 00:49:23,579
on for like a slow decline for cancer

1207
00:49:26,750 --> 00:49:24,839
and if you have a stroke you want

1208
00:49:28,790 --> 00:49:26,760
treatment that's what we'll see most

1209
00:49:31,550 --> 00:49:28,800
often in my opinion and then they come

1210
00:49:32,990 --> 00:49:31,560
back on once they've gotten there like a

1211
00:49:35,690 --> 00:49:33,000
cute

1212
00:49:38,450 --> 00:49:35,700
uh you know treatments I have had one

1213
00:49:42,530 --> 00:49:38,460
patient that's still alive I don't know

1214
00:49:44,990 --> 00:49:42,540
he was on hospice for cancer he

1215
00:49:47,270 --> 00:49:45,000
basically said absolutely not

1216
00:49:50,870 --> 00:49:47,280
um yeah like if you could imagine the

1217
00:49:53,930 --> 00:49:50,880
most hippie person in the world this old

1218
00:49:56,450 --> 00:49:53,940
man and we just started doing research

1219
00:50:00,530 --> 00:49:56,460
and he was like I'm going to be this

1220
00:50:02,089 --> 00:50:00,540
cancer so he went vegan

1221
00:50:04,010 --> 00:50:02,099
um sugar-free

1222
00:50:05,870 --> 00:50:04,020
and

1223
00:50:10,250 --> 00:50:05,880
um started eating these like really hot

1224
00:50:13,849 --> 00:50:10,260
peppers and he started smoking weed all

1225
00:50:16,790 --> 00:50:13,859
the time and after like seven or eight

1226
00:50:19,370 --> 00:50:16,800
months he was not declining at all

1227
00:50:20,870 --> 00:50:19,380
um we had to take him off hospice and

1228
00:50:22,910 --> 00:50:20,880
I'm friends with his grandson on

1229
00:50:25,250 --> 00:50:22,920
Facebook so I know he's still alive

1230
00:50:28,069 --> 00:50:25,260
oh wow and could you maybe give how many

1231
00:50:30,010 --> 00:50:28,079
years this has been or three

1232
00:50:32,930 --> 00:50:30,020
three years yeah

1233
00:50:36,050 --> 00:50:32,940
wow that's that's amazing though that

1234
00:50:37,550 --> 00:50:36,060
really is but I mean I've also known

1235
00:50:38,930 --> 00:50:37,560
people who have done that and nothing's

1236
00:50:41,329 --> 00:50:38,940
happened I've just always been so

1237
00:50:43,849 --> 00:50:41,339
strange to me yeah maybe it's something

1238
00:50:46,490 --> 00:50:43,859
in his makeup or maybe he's just like

1239
00:50:47,390 --> 00:50:46,500
that's that's very weird no that's very

1240
00:50:49,670 --> 00:50:47,400
weird

1241
00:50:51,829 --> 00:50:49,680
so is there anything else you want to

1242
00:50:53,390 --> 00:50:51,839
you know tell us like about the book or

1243
00:50:55,549 --> 00:50:53,400
about what else you're going to be

1244
00:50:58,670 --> 00:50:55,559
getting into things like that

1245
00:51:00,829 --> 00:50:58,680
yeah I also so one chapter in my book is

1246
00:51:03,109 --> 00:51:00,839
about my mother-in-law she actually was

1247
00:51:06,589 --> 00:51:03,119
on hospice while I was a hospice nurse

1248
00:51:09,190 --> 00:51:06,599
and I talk about that and how

1249
00:51:11,750 --> 00:51:09,200
um really it was very interesting to

1250
00:51:14,089 --> 00:51:11,760
basically feel like your home life and

1251
00:51:16,130 --> 00:51:14,099
your work life are the same thing and be

1252
00:51:18,829 --> 00:51:16,140
on the caregiver side while also being

1253
00:51:22,910 --> 00:51:18,839
on the nursing side and I talk about

1254
00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:22,920
that and how much did my

1255
00:51:26,569 --> 00:51:25,260
um oh the better I'm a better nurse

1256
00:51:28,069 --> 00:51:26,579
because of it because now understand

1257
00:51:29,150 --> 00:51:28,079
what it's like to be on the other side

1258
00:51:32,750 --> 00:51:29,160
as well

1259
00:51:35,450 --> 00:51:32,760
and um you know that was very difficult

1260
00:51:37,309 --> 00:51:35,460
of course and I talk a lot about my

1261
00:51:39,530 --> 00:51:37,319
personal life and you know more in the

1262
00:51:41,690 --> 00:51:39,540
way of like uh

1263
00:51:43,010 --> 00:51:41,700
my thoughts and feelings while I'm going

1264
00:51:44,870 --> 00:51:43,020
through these things and I think it's

1265
00:51:47,750 --> 00:51:44,880
really important to humanize healthcare

1266
00:51:49,990 --> 00:51:47,760
I think that a lot of times people can

1267
00:51:54,109 --> 00:51:50,000
kind of see us as like emotionless

1268
00:51:56,390 --> 00:51:54,119
robots and you know seeing that like I

1269
00:51:58,670 --> 00:51:56,400
have emotions about things and I have

1270
00:52:02,109 --> 00:51:58,680
insecurities and fears just like anyone

1271
00:52:06,890 --> 00:52:04,430
the bottom of it

1272
00:52:08,690 --> 00:52:06,900
and sometimes you do have to give that

1273
00:52:11,870 --> 00:52:08,700
you know emotionless

1274
00:52:13,549 --> 00:52:11,880
part of you because otherwise you I mean

1275
00:52:14,690 --> 00:52:13,559
you can't sit there and cry in front of

1276
00:52:17,450 --> 00:52:14,700
the family

1277
00:52:20,329 --> 00:52:17,460
and distress them like say you know like

1278
00:52:22,250 --> 00:52:20,339
the impossible things like that yeah so

1279
00:52:25,010 --> 00:52:22,260
I totally understand that but no I I

1280
00:52:26,390 --> 00:52:25,020
totally agree about humanizing the

1281
00:52:28,670 --> 00:52:26,400
nursing field

1282
00:52:33,650 --> 00:52:28,680
David Jones wants to know have you seen

1283
00:52:41,150 --> 00:52:37,030
I don't know if I've ever seen any

1284
00:52:42,530 --> 00:52:41,160
Miracles but definitely as far as what a

1285
00:52:44,270 --> 00:52:42,540
lot of people would consider Angelic

1286
00:52:47,210 --> 00:52:44,280
encounters would be people seeing their

1287
00:52:48,710 --> 00:52:47,220
deceased loved ones which happens all

1288
00:52:51,470 --> 00:52:48,720
the time

1289
00:52:53,750 --> 00:52:51,480
um where yeah just a lot of times people

1290
00:52:56,510 --> 00:52:53,760
will be kind of have anxiety or they'll

1291
00:52:58,010 --> 00:52:56,520
be scared of death and then their

1292
00:53:01,130 --> 00:52:58,020
deceased loved ones will come to get

1293
00:53:02,750 --> 00:53:01,140
them and suddenly their their anxieties

1294
00:53:05,089 --> 00:53:02,760
are washed away and they're like we're

1295
00:53:07,250 --> 00:53:05,099
going on a trip like I get to see my

1296
00:53:09,410 --> 00:53:07,260
deceased loved ones again and they're

1297
00:53:11,809 --> 00:53:09,420
happy

1298
00:53:13,430 --> 00:53:11,819
I think they're beautiful

1299
00:53:17,870 --> 00:53:13,440
yeah

1300
00:53:19,609 --> 00:53:17,880
like you said that they have this very

1301
00:53:21,710 --> 00:53:19,619
bad anxiety about death and then

1302
00:53:24,230 --> 00:53:21,720
suddenly it's just eased

1303
00:53:26,210 --> 00:53:24,240
if if you had to guess what do you

1304
00:53:28,210 --> 00:53:26,220
guesses said to them that eases those

1305
00:53:32,510 --> 00:53:28,220
fears

1306
00:53:34,250 --> 00:53:32,520
I think so I feel like before we die we

1307
00:53:36,290 --> 00:53:34,260
call which part of my book mean and also

1308
00:53:38,329 --> 00:53:36,300
the in between which I feel like we go

1309
00:53:41,750 --> 00:53:38,339
between our world and the next World

1310
00:53:43,069 --> 00:53:41,760
world and I feel like there's like a

1311
00:53:45,170 --> 00:53:43,079
couple hours couple days where we're

1312
00:53:47,030 --> 00:53:45,180
going in between

1313
00:53:48,890 --> 00:53:47,040
um and so I feel like whenever you're

1314
00:53:50,750 --> 00:53:48,900
going in between you're getting that

1315
00:53:53,210 --> 00:53:50,760
what I believe is like the ultimate

1316
00:53:54,950 --> 00:53:53,220
peace and happiness from the other side

1317
00:53:57,349 --> 00:53:54,960
and you're getting kind of a taste of it

1318
00:53:58,849 --> 00:53:57,359
and you're like oh I'm not scared of

1319
00:54:01,309 --> 00:53:58,859
this why would I be scared of this this

1320
00:54:02,870 --> 00:54:01,319
is the this is wonderful

1321
00:54:06,290 --> 00:54:02,880
um and that's where I think people's

1322
00:54:08,870 --> 00:54:06,300
fears are are washed away

1323
00:54:10,370 --> 00:54:08,880
that's actually really good

1324
00:54:13,010 --> 00:54:10,380
um and is that where you got the title

1325
00:54:14,390 --> 00:54:13,020
of your book yeah

1326
00:54:15,710 --> 00:54:14,400
okay yeah because I feel like I'm with

1327
00:54:16,970 --> 00:54:15,720
people in the in between

1328
00:54:19,069 --> 00:54:16,980
right

1329
00:54:20,630 --> 00:54:19,079
so what else is coming up for you in the

1330
00:54:23,650 --> 00:54:20,640
future

1331
00:54:27,349 --> 00:54:23,660
so obviously got the book released and

1332
00:54:29,630 --> 00:54:27,359
I'm gonna go with non-profit as soon as

1333
00:54:33,049 --> 00:54:29,640
I'm done with all of them and then we

1334
00:54:36,589 --> 00:54:33,059
get the word out there my goal is to

1335
00:54:39,589 --> 00:54:36,599
have my first house in a year

1336
00:54:41,329 --> 00:54:39,599
oh wow do you hope to like expand from

1337
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:41,339
where you are have it maybe in every

1338
00:54:44,630 --> 00:54:43,260
state or do you just want to focus on

1339
00:54:47,450 --> 00:54:44,640
this one first

1340
00:54:50,030 --> 00:54:47,460
yeah I want to get this one and get it

1341
00:54:52,849 --> 00:54:50,040
right and then you know make sure that I

1342
00:54:55,670 --> 00:54:52,859
have the formula so to say right and

1343
00:54:57,230 --> 00:54:55,680
then I want it everywhere I you know

1344
00:55:01,849 --> 00:54:57,240
that's really what I see you know being

1345
00:55:06,470 --> 00:55:04,069
I just wanted to put that up that da

1346
00:55:09,410 --> 00:55:06,480
said yeah she is definitely the real

1347
00:55:11,930 --> 00:55:09,420
deal glad to see her back so thank you

1348
00:55:14,750 --> 00:55:11,940
you definitely have some fans here

1349
00:55:16,549 --> 00:55:14,760
yay you know last time we talked my book

1350
00:55:18,470 --> 00:55:16,559
was like not even on pre-order I can't

1351
00:55:21,049 --> 00:55:18,480
believe it's like finally it's like

1352
00:55:24,170 --> 00:55:21,059
gonna be out in the world in like 12

1353
00:55:27,010 --> 00:55:24,180
days it's crazy and that would be what

1354
00:55:30,710 --> 00:55:27,020
June 13th

1355
00:55:34,190 --> 00:55:30,720
okay so if you haven't pre-ordered it

1356
00:55:36,410 --> 00:55:34,200
now go out there pre-order it is it hit

1357
00:55:39,349 --> 00:55:36,420
any of the best seller lists yet do you

1358
00:55:42,710 --> 00:55:39,359
know so that you can't until the till it

1359
00:55:45,349 --> 00:55:42,720
comes out so New York Times which is

1360
00:55:49,430 --> 00:55:45,359
like the big one of course is they count

1361
00:55:50,809 --> 00:55:49,440
pre-orders plus first week but that like

1362
00:55:52,430 --> 00:55:50,819
your pre-orders count for your first

1363
00:55:55,609 --> 00:55:52,440
week so that's why pre-orders are so

1364
00:55:57,230 --> 00:55:55,619
important okay yeah is there any more

1365
00:56:00,290 --> 00:55:57,240
books in your future

1366
00:56:01,910 --> 00:56:00,300
I hope so I really do

1367
00:56:04,970 --> 00:56:01,920
um a lot of people who have read it said

1368
00:56:08,630 --> 00:56:04,980
will you write another and you know I'm

1369
00:56:11,390 --> 00:56:08,640
not sure I'd really like to explore more

1370
00:56:13,069 --> 00:56:11,400
possibly what other countries are doing

1371
00:56:14,510 --> 00:56:13,079
um because you know I know how the

1372
00:56:16,730 --> 00:56:14,520
United States is but we're actually

1373
00:56:18,370 --> 00:56:16,740
ranked really really badly

1374
00:56:21,109 --> 00:56:18,380
yeah

1375
00:56:22,490 --> 00:56:21,119
so you know as I open my non-profit I'd

1376
00:56:24,109 --> 00:56:22,500
really like to know what is it that

1377
00:56:27,829 --> 00:56:24,119
other countries are doing that we can do

1378
00:56:29,569 --> 00:56:27,839
over here and really improve exactly

1379
00:56:31,370 --> 00:56:29,579
because and if you look at other

1380
00:56:33,290 --> 00:56:31,380
countries their Health Care system is a

1381
00:56:37,490 --> 00:56:33,300
little bit better than ours in some

1382
00:56:39,230 --> 00:56:37,500
things but yeah no I I I'm trying to be

1383
00:56:42,410 --> 00:56:39,240
nice and trying to tread carefully but

1384
00:56:44,089 --> 00:56:42,420
yeah so before we go if anyone has any

1385
00:56:46,490 --> 00:56:44,099
questions do you guys want to get those

1386
00:56:48,410 --> 00:56:46,500
up before we go for Hadley

1387
00:56:50,569 --> 00:56:48,420
we'll just give everyone a minute or two

1388
00:56:52,970 --> 00:56:50,579
yeah

1389
00:56:55,250 --> 00:56:52,980
and if you did write a second book have

1390
00:56:56,510 --> 00:56:55,260
you plotted it yet do you know what's

1391
00:56:58,849 --> 00:56:56,520
going to be

1392
00:57:00,589 --> 00:56:58,859
no not yet I need to meet with my

1393
00:57:03,049 --> 00:57:00,599
literary agent and see what he thinks

1394
00:57:05,210 --> 00:57:03,059
and how we would do it but you know I

1395
00:57:06,770 --> 00:57:05,220
told him I'm really interested in it and

1396
00:57:07,910 --> 00:57:06,780
you know like we were saying with other

1397
00:57:09,109 --> 00:57:07,920
countries

1398
00:57:11,750 --> 00:57:09,119
um the interesting thing there was a

1399
00:57:13,670 --> 00:57:11,760
study done very recently about basically

1400
00:57:16,190 --> 00:57:13,680
interviewing palliative care physicians

1401
00:57:18,109 --> 00:57:16,200
in their country and saying how well do

1402
00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:18,119
you feel like y'all do basically like a

1403
00:57:22,630 --> 00:57:20,280
self-assessment and like you said with

1404
00:57:25,430 --> 00:57:22,640
Healthcare the interesting thing is that

1405
00:57:27,950 --> 00:57:25,440
some countries with say Universal Health

1406
00:57:30,470 --> 00:57:27,960
Care did not score very well and I

1407
00:57:32,750 --> 00:57:30,480
thought that that was very interesting

1408
00:57:34,490 --> 00:57:32,760
um like why so what is it is it their

1409
00:57:36,470 --> 00:57:34,500
culture I kind of feel like it might be

1410
00:57:38,390 --> 00:57:36,480
their culture and what is it that their

1411
00:57:39,710 --> 00:57:38,400
culture is doing differently that we can

1412
00:57:42,230 --> 00:57:39,720
do over here

1413
00:57:44,750 --> 00:57:42,240
right no I totally agree do you think

1414
00:57:46,490 --> 00:57:44,760
you'll ever give up nursing no I don't

1415
00:57:48,049 --> 00:57:46,500
think I'll ever again I feel like it's

1416
00:57:50,390 --> 00:57:48,059
my calling

1417
00:57:52,010 --> 00:57:50,400
I like that so I guess there's no more

1418
00:57:54,530 --> 00:57:52,020
questions and

1419
00:57:56,450 --> 00:57:54,540
I appreciate it being here I appreciate

1420
00:57:58,010 --> 00:57:56,460
you coming back thank you so much do you

1421
00:58:00,410 --> 00:57:58,020
want everyone know where they can find

1422
00:58:01,910 --> 00:58:00,420
you where they can bungee book just one

1423
00:58:04,849 --> 00:58:01,920
more time and I also have your website

1424
00:58:06,950 --> 00:58:04,859
up oh perfect yes that has yeah

1425
00:58:08,150 --> 00:58:06,960
everything and then nurse Hadley on

1426
00:58:10,849 --> 00:58:08,160
everywhere and then my book is called

1427
00:58:13,250 --> 00:58:10,859
the in-between looks like this it'll be

1428
00:58:16,730 --> 00:58:13,260
in all bookstores on the 13th

1429
00:58:18,589 --> 00:58:16,740
all right and yeah that has all your

1430
00:58:19,609 --> 00:58:18,599
links to your Tick Tock do you have an

1431
00:58:23,329 --> 00:58:19,619
Instagram

1432
00:58:25,849 --> 00:58:23,339
yep okay and you can pre-order her book

1433
00:58:27,230 --> 00:58:25,859
from there too as well because I I was

1434
00:58:28,490 --> 00:58:27,240
when I was getting the links together

1435
00:58:30,349 --> 00:58:28,500
and everything I looked down there I'm

1436
00:58:32,990 --> 00:58:30,359
like okay good we're compared to the

1437
00:58:36,190 --> 00:58:33,000
book from there all right well thank you

1438
00:58:38,030 --> 00:58:36,200
so much Hadley I truly appreciate it

1439
00:58:41,630 --> 00:58:38,040
and I wish you all the best and

1440
00:58:43,910 --> 00:58:41,640
hopefully you'll come back yes thank you

1441
00:58:45,289 --> 00:58:43,920
all right now look give me one second

1442
00:58:47,210 --> 00:58:45,299
because like I said I'm still running

1443
00:58:50,270 --> 00:58:47,220
the show and I'm still getting used to

1444
00:58:55,030 --> 00:58:50,280
it and thank you again all right have a

1445
00:58:59,750 --> 00:58:57,710
thank you everyone for being here I

1446
00:59:03,049 --> 00:58:59,760
appreciate it and thank you to my guest

1447
00:59:05,930 --> 00:59:03,059
nurse Hadley she is wonderful and we

1448
00:59:08,150 --> 00:59:05,940
always let me get this up here we always

1449
00:59:11,390 --> 00:59:08,160
love having her on

1450
00:59:15,230 --> 00:59:11,400
um next week I will not be having a show

1451
00:59:17,870 --> 00:59:15,240
because because well I haven't really

1452
00:59:19,549 --> 00:59:17,880
scheduled anything and Mom is going to

1453
00:59:21,349 --> 00:59:19,559
be going out of town so I just figured

1454
00:59:22,609 --> 00:59:21,359
to make things easier we're not doing a

1455
00:59:25,309 --> 00:59:22,619
show

1456
00:59:28,250 --> 00:59:25,319
um and until next time I appreciate it

1457
00:59:29,930 --> 00:59:28,260
and I will see you then so give me one

1458
00:59:31,190 --> 00:59:29,940
second to figure out where I'm at since

1459
00:59:33,109 --> 00:59:31,200
it's been a while